ASSUME THE POSITION

As I was leaving my house Saturday morning, a Portland Police S.W.A.T. tank pulled right up the house next to mine. The back door was open and out poured about six S.W.A.T. cops in full uniform, guns a blazin'. They were after my neighbor!

I always suspected he was a drug dealer. Hell, he drives a motorcycle and wears leather.

They grab him from a car, pull him to the ground and cuff him. And I had a front row view of it all! It was scary and amazing. This guy must have been one bad dude to have the friggin' S.W.A.T. team show up! Minutes later a cruiser pulls up to haul this guy to jail, for what I can only assume is multiple murders and he will rot in a tiny cell.


But there were some weird things.


1) The bad guy never stopped smiling
2) The cops were laughing and joking with him
3) The cops used a plastic tie and not real handcuffs...and
4) They put the bad guy (certainly death row worthy) in the front seat.

No biggy. Thank God the cops got him.


The cruiser backs up INTO MY DRIVEWAY RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, and then pulls out toward the station. Then the S.W.A.T. tank does the same thing! It backs into my driveway right in front of me, the back still open loaded with the brave men in full uniform. This is my chance. I jump out of my car and run to the back of the tank.

"Hey, I live here. Should I be concerned?" I ask, expecting to get the worst news ever. I hear, "Is that Lori?" That's sweet...a fan. Then the guy in front says:

"No. It's just training."

"Oh. Thanks." I said.

I guess I never did quite learn that don't judge a book by it's cover lesson, or a S.W.A.T. operation by the bad guy they carry away.