IDAHO

I'm sitting at JFK for a six hour layover (great itinerary) and thought I'd update you on my quick trip to the folks / smoke-atorium. It was great. I felt like I was at camp for a couple of days (and the kids smoked a lot). We laughed and ate. Those were the two things on the agenda. I made turkey meatballs (my father has a strong hate for anything that is not ground cow). He hated them.

But I also brought a box of Aunti Anne's Pretzels (please see some previous crazy blog I did in October). We made pretzels and I swear, my father consumed them like a meth crazed junkie! It was really fun.

Now, I don't eat red meat...much. I might have a bite here and there, but I avoid it mostly for health reasons. They know that, but thought they'd ask if they could make prime rib for dinner. Uh, I'm no dummy. Yes please. I made Yorkshire Pudding to go with it and it was a feast fit for a king.

I only had two days with them (the other two days were getting there and getting home). It's a quick visit. Two days is actually perfect. But it is a little sad...

My folks are getting old. They limp more than ever...they sit a lot...they forget even more. The other three kids are either mad at them or have stopped talking to them altogether. It's hard to explain my family. We simply aren't a close bunch...really never have been. Weird. My "adopted" family is crazy close. It escapes me. Anyway, I love my mom and dad despite their many flaws and idiosyncrasies. I have forgiven anything that might make me the fourth and final kid to stop talking to them. And I get a little sad everytime I say good-bye.

That's pretty much my trip. We sat around for two days and ate and chatted...and I watched them smoke. Ya gotta love parents.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT IS

I swear this smiling person with foils in her hair is NOT me. I can't be old enough to have to have low-lights to cover the enormous amount of gray hair on my head. No clue who this very attractive woman is, but I feel sorry for her.

WHERE'S THE ADVIL

Wow. I'm sore. I'm sore all over. My fingernails hurt for Christ's sake. Why? Why am I a bag of 43 year old sore bones? Because Teddy gives crappy Christmas presents, that's why!

Let me explain. Teddy got me 5 sessions with a personal trainer at The Bay Club (which is right in One City Center...it's a gym). Teddy had used Karen after his house burned down, and his girlfriend skipped town. He swore by her and his new thin self said it all. Soooo, he wanted me to share in his good fortune.

Bastard.

My God. Apparently I am worse off than I thought. Karen had me climbing and pushing and pulling and jumping and sweating and panting and wishing I'd never met Teddy. And it was a short session cuz she blabbed for half an hour. By the way, she's fabulous and I see why Teddy is in love.

Thank God it's only once a week...cuz it will take me a full week to recover. Ughhhhhh!

NO WAY SAM COULD DO THAT!

I read in the paper today (Drs. Sparrow & Brazelton - Families Today) that cats can kill babies! What the f is that? Apparently cats get really close to their human mom and dads...duh. Well, they get soooo close that they can be jealous of newborns being brought home. In fact (and this is where it gets freaky) they can get so jealous, that some cats will look for the babies mouth and nose and lie on them to smother them!

KILLER KITTIES!!!

Some people have to get rid of their cats before they bring home a newborn (not the right choice in my mind...but whatever). If people decide to keep their cats, they need to keep them out of the babies room or keep a netting over the crib.

Do you know after I read this, I looked at Sam and Lincoln, my cats (they are 10 by the way in March) a little differently. I wondered, could they actually SMOTHER A BABY!?! Maybe cats are murderous. I know it is amazing I haven't fallen to my death down the stairs at 3am when Sam every morning tries to trip me. It's such a routine I can actually avoid him in my sleep. My God...maybe he could be a child killer.

I'll be sleeping with one eye open tonight...

IT'S OVER

Ugh. The saddest shortest day is the last day of vacation. I will miss the little things that ya just can't do with a job. Well, things I DON'T do with MY job. I walked 4 miles every day. Even on New Year's Day with the wind chill factor so friggin' cold I seriously thought that I would come home and find my cheeks black with frostbite. I'm fine.

And a nice breakfast every morning. A poached egg, bacon (turkey bacon...it's close), fruit and a breakfast cake (any sort of breakfast treat like muffin or coffee cake). Just typing out my breakfast for the past 10 days makes me hungry!

I will also miss the 8 hours of sleep - all in a row. Wow, I'm telling ya, there really is something to this sleep thing. It is awesome!! I love it! I woke up this morning around 530am and did some quick math in my head...6 hours sleep. Mmmm, maybe I should try to get another hour. BAM! The next think I know it's 730am and I have drool all over my arm. Ahhhh, another 8 hours.

What the hell was with the drool? Seriously, I had drool all over. Damn, I'm gross. Had to change my shirt I was so grossed out by myself. Now I just think it's funny. Why am I sharing this? THIS is why I shouldn't blog.