Lori Voornas Blog

SMELL MY CHICKEN

2009-03-22T08:00:00.000-07:00

Guess what I'm doing for the first time in months?! I'm grilling on the gas grill! I know, I know...a lot of you do it year round. I don't. I can't. I only have one spot for the grill, and it's in this common area patio for the 3 condos. So, ya see, until very recently this area was buried in about 17 feet of snow. But it's gone. It's alllll gone!

We all know that I'm an anal one and am well, pretty picky and tidy. But for some reason, I did not cover my grill this winter. I have no idea what happened. Okay, that's a lie. I actually do know what happened. It snowed before I covered it...then I thought, "SHOOT! I need to get that covered." Then much like the ADD Song, I probably saw a pigeon or smelled bacon until the next storm.

Then I thought, "Oh I DEFINITELY have to cover that grill." Bacon, pigeons...forgot."

I was scared to start that bad boy up this year. Usually, I take the tank off, close it all up and cover it with the nice cover I bought. Nope. This year the tank stayed on, the snow piled up and everything was exposed to intense freezing and thawing.

Guess what? That dude Weber knows his stuff and it worked like a champ and didn't blow up when I lit it. God I love that smell. Excuse me while I stuff my face.

A LITTLE TASTE OF IDAHO

2009-03-09T14:46:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I'm a tad behind getting this online...but better late than never. The morning I went to see my Mom and Dad, I stopped by the grocery store I used to go to every week with my family for groceries to pick up some things (I made turkey meatballs, my dad hated them).

It's so weird to go back to the place you grew up. I always remember the part of Caldwell, Idaho we hung out in as much bigger...but alas, it's small and well - pretty depressing.

I love my parents...a lot. But I won't live back in Idaho. I love my new home of Maine. I should shoot a video of my new home! Ooooo, good idea. And now, get out your Xanax and enjoy.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

2009-03-01T13:36:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to Sam!

Happy Birthday to Lincoln!

Both my boys are 10 this week. I tried soooo hard to get them both to pose for a picture, but I think it would be easier to fix the economy.

JUST ANOTHER SIGN

2009-02-22T06:04:00.000-08:00

Went to a really fun birthday party on Friday night. It was for a friend I recently met, so that means that most of the people at this party I would not know. Oh ugh...getting to know new people. I'm actually kinda shy when in new situations, but I do alright "mingling".

The party was a hoot, because it was a pizza party where they made pizzas all night and you could bring your favorite topping! The pizza was delicious! It's a great fun idea and there was lots of activity throughout the East End apartment.

So, as I started mingling, I noticed that some people knew me from the radio, some from other parties...

Topics ranged from "What do you do?" to, "How do you know the birthday girl?" to eventually, "When did you quit smoking?"

Then I noticed something...most of the women I was chatting with had quit smoking and were on the verge of menopause. ME TOO! My God! Is that what life has come to? Chats about how much I miss smoking and how I'm a complete loon because of my hormones? Sad, just plain ol' sad.

AT LEAST THE COPS DIDN'T HAVE TO COME

2009-02-15T14:46:00.000-08:00

One of the things I absolutely hate, is waking up late for work. I have to say that my track record is pretty good. It rarely happens. In fact, the last time it happend 15 months ago, Meredith and Jeff called the police. No kidding.

In November of 2007, I overslept one Thursday morning. They tried to call my cell phone and home phone, but I didn't have the phone in my bedroom plugged in. Plus, I have lived in some heavy traffic areas, and can not sleep without the white noise of a fan. So, fan going + the phone unplugged = call 911.

The police came (this is near 630am now) and pound 28 times on my front door with their billy club (how do I know this? I counted the dents). I finally woke up and staggered downstairs to find my boss on the phone saying, "She's okay!" and a nice officer staring at me like, "This is why I went to the Academy?"

Again, that was 15 months ago. But Friday morning, a morning that I wanted to get into work early - I overslept once again. But this time the phone in my bedroom WAS plugged in (lesson learned) and I got to work as quick as possible! But no shower and out of sorts. For God's sake Lesley Roy came in the studio....look at how awful I look!

I'm the one with the hat and glasses. Yup. That would be my no shower look. I still feel icky from it. Good thing tomorrow is a holiday, cuz I think it will take me until Tuesday to feel normal again. Oh, and I have no idea why I overslept...noooo clue.

TYPICAL SUNDAY

2009-02-08T11:31:00.000-08:00

Just having your basic Sunday. Chip ice for an hour in the driveway, while doing laundry and making Chicken Schnitzel for dinner -oh and calling 911.

Wha? Oh sure, I get the schnitzel, but what's with 911??! Well, as I was doing laundry, I went to switch the load from washer to dryer and when I went into the basement I was hit with a VERY strong smell of something wrong! Not sure if it was gas or fire!! I didn't see anything, and sniffed around and then decided, not taking any chances...I called 911.

The nice woman said, "Where is your emergency?" And I like an idiot said, (I'm not making this up either) "My house." She said (dripping in sarcasm by the way) "Welll, I don't know where you live."

Anyway, back to the Fire Dept. They came shortly afterwards, went downstairs (which was made for short people) and immediately thought it was a belt gone bad on my washer, and the smell was burnt rubber. Phew.

By the way, I could not have looked more like garbage with my (again, not kidding) "I Love Sanjaya" t-shirt on and sweats. Good God. And these firemen were so rugged and handsome too. Geesh.

All I can say is:
a) thank God it wasn't a fire and b) thank God I wasn't dying my mustache!

WHAT'S YOUR BRAIN AGE?

2009-02-01T17:04:00.000-08:00

Wanna know your brain age? I actually don't know what that means, but it's a fun memory game. Now, ignore the Japanese instructions and have fun. Simply memorize the numbers as they display on the screen, then click the numbers from lowest to highest. The faster and more accurate you do this, the better your "brain age". Have fun!

BRAIN AGE

IDAHO

2009-01-24T12:42:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting at JFK for a six hour layover (great itinerary) and thought I'd update you on my quick trip to the folks / smoke-atorium. It was great. I felt like I was at camp for a couple of days (and the kids smoked a lot). We laughed and ate. Those were the two things on the agenda. I made turkey meatballs (my father has a strong hate for anything that is not ground cow). He hated them.

But I also brought a box of Aunti Anne's Pretzels (please see some previous crazy blog I did in October). We made pretzels and I swear, my father consumed them like a meth crazed junkie! It was really fun.

Now, I don't eat red meat...much. I might have a bite here and there, but I avoid it mostly for health reasons. They know that, but thought they'd ask if they could make prime rib for dinner. Uh, I'm no dummy. Yes please. I made Yorkshire Pudding to go with it and it was a feast fit for a king.

I only had two days with them (the other two days were getting there and getting home). It's a quick visit. Two days is actually perfect. But it is a little sad...

My folks are getting old. They limp more than ever...they sit a lot...they forget even more. The other three kids are either mad at them or have stopped talking to them altogether. It's hard to explain my family. We simply aren't a close bunch...really never have been. Weird. My "adopted" family is crazy close. It escapes me. Anyway, I love my mom and dad despite their many flaws and idiosyncrasies. I have forgiven anything that might make me the fourth and final kid to stop talking to them. And I get a little sad everytime I say good-bye.

That's pretty much my trip. We sat around for two days and ate and chatted...and I watched them smoke. Ya gotta love parents.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT IS

2009-01-18T11:42:00.000-08:00

I swear this smiling person with foils in her hair is NOT me. I can't be old enough to have to have low-lights to cover the enormous amount of gray hair on my head. No clue who this very attractive woman is, but I feel sorry for her.

WHERE'S THE ADVIL

2009-01-12T17:13:00.000-08:00

Wow. I'm sore. I'm sore all over. My fingernails hurt for Christ's sake. Why? Why am I a bag of 43 year old sore bones? Because Teddy gives crappy Christmas presents, that's why!

Let me explain. Teddy got me 5 sessions with a personal trainer at The Bay Club (which is right in One City Center...it's a gym). Teddy had used Karen after his house burned down, and his girlfriend skipped town. He swore by her and his new thin self said it all. Soooo, he wanted me to share in his good fortune.

Bastard.

My God. Apparently I am worse off than I thought. Karen had me climbing and pushing and pulling and jumping and sweating and panting and wishing I'd never met Teddy. And it was a short session cuz she blabbed for half an hour. By the way, she's fabulous and I see why Teddy is in love.

Thank God it's only once a week...cuz it will take me a full week to recover. Ughhhhhh!

NO WAY SAM COULD DO THAT!

2009-01-11T15:35:00.000-08:00

I read in the paper today (Drs. Sparrow & Brazelton - Families Today) that cats can kill babies! What the f is that? Apparently cats get really close to their human mom and dads...duh. Well, they get soooo close that they can be jealous of newborns being brought home. In fact (and this is where it gets freaky) they can get so jealous, that some cats will look for the babies mouth and nose and lie on them to smother them!

KILLER KITTIES!!!

Some people have to get rid of their cats before they bring home a newborn (not the right choice in my mind...but whatever). If people decide to keep their cats, they need to keep them out of the babies room or keep a netting over the crib.

Do you know after I read this, I looked at Sam and Lincoln, my cats (they are 10 by the way in March) a little differently. I wondered, could they actually SMOTHER A BABY!?! Maybe cats are murderous. I know it is amazing I haven't fallen to my death down the stairs at 3am when Sam every morning tries to trip me. It's such a routine I can actually avoid him in my sleep. My God...maybe he could be a child killer.

I'll be sleeping with one eye open tonight...

IT'S OVER

2009-01-04T10:32:00.000-08:00

Ugh. The saddest shortest day is the last day of vacation. I will miss the little things that ya just can't do with a job. Well, things I DON'T do with MY job. I walked 4 miles every day. Even on New Year's Day with the wind chill factor so friggin' cold I seriously thought that I would come home and find my cheeks black with frostbite. I'm fine.

And a nice breakfast every morning. A poached egg, bacon (turkey bacon...it's close), fruit and a breakfast cake (any sort of breakfast treat like muffin or coffee cake). Just typing out my breakfast for the past 10 days makes me hungry!

I will also miss the 8 hours of sleep - all in a row. Wow, I'm telling ya, there really is something to this sleep thing. It is awesome!! I love it! I woke up this morning around 530am and did some quick math in my head...6 hours sleep. Mmmm, maybe I should try to get another hour. BAM! The next think I know it's 730am and I have drool all over my arm. Ahhhh, another 8 hours.

What the hell was with the drool? Seriously, I had drool all over. Damn, I'm gross. Had to change my shirt I was so grossed out by myself. Now I just think it's funny. Why am I sharing this? THIS is why I shouldn't blog.

3 MORE MOVIES!

2008-12-31T10:38:00.001-08:00

Okay, this has been a very productive staycation for seeing movies. My first was "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". Sooooo awesome. Then I saw "Doubt" with Meryl Streep and Philip Seymour Hoffman. Now, because "Benjamin" was soooo damn good, I thought "Doubt" was good, but the story (about a priest who may or may not have touched an alter boy) just didn't grab me like "Button". Then I saw "Milk."

Wow. First off, it is rare a movie makes me want to be a gay man in the 70's....but anyway. What a facinating person this Harvey Milk was. It was a such a well done movie about his life and how he became the first openly gay man in a pretty major office in San Francisco. And mark my words, it will be Sean Penn's first Oscsar win...hands down. He was simply amazing. Brad Pitt was great as Benjamin Button, but Sean Penn was mesmorizing as Harvey Milk. He was awe inspiring.

That movie made me want to be an activist. It was a tie for first place between "Milk" and "Benjamin Button" for what movie I liked best. Then I saw "Slumdog Millionaire." We have a winner.

Now, it may be because I saw it last, but "Slumdog Millionaire" is one of the best movies I've ever seen...period. I realized the thing that has been missing from most movies I see is a great story, and "Slumdog" is a great story. It's about a kid in India who is one question away from winning millions on the Indian version of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" He is accused of cheating and in explaining how he knew all the answers, we learn about his life.

I laughed, I cried...I was emotional. It's the kind of movie that sticks with you for a couple of days after...lingering....tugging. I was unable to sleep last night thinking of that movie. Well that and the fact that my Christmas cold finally got here.

So, let's review this rambling blog about movies. Go see:

"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"
"Milk"
"Slumdog Millionaire" and if you have money and time left over
"Dout"

If you are not completely moved by "Slumdog" well...I don't know what to tell ya. I found it amazing. Now...where's my Nyquil. I like taking it during the day.

MOVIE REVIEW "BENJAMIN BUTTON"

2008-12-27T14:52:00.000-08:00

Went and saw my first movie on my winter staycation. I hope to see a ton of them! I saw "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". Let me put this in a way you will totally get. Jeff would HATE the movie and Meredith would LOVE the movie.

I loved it! I thought it was soooo good and I couldn't help but think that it had a "Titanic" feel to it. Not in the story at all, but in the grandness of the movie. Love or hate "Titanic", you cannot deny that sucker was a huge grand movie.

"Benjamin Button" has that same feel. It's a beautiful movie, in both the story and the look of the movie. And I don't think I have ever said this before, but Brad Pitt was amazing and perfect for this movie.

I can only hope the other movies I hope see are half as good. (oh Christmas was good too!)

CAN'T BEAT THEM, JOIN THEM

2008-12-21T13:06:00.000-08:00

Broke out the ol' snow shoes this weekend. Seemed liked the thing to do with this amazing snow! I'm loving it on the weekend! Not sure I'll be as happy tomorrow morning around 2am before work.

Anyway, back to the snow shoes. This is the thing that ripped off the back of my heel last year and I could feel it rubbing it, but I survived.

Now, about snow shoeing...IT'S HARD! My God, I huff and puff like I'm 90! I go with my BFF (so I can be sure to have a witness to my exhaustion). At one point she was saying something to me like, "Isn't the snow pretty?" And I was seeing stars from being completely wiped out plus, sooo cold and sweating - all at the same time.

My BFF repeated, "Isn't the snow pretty?" 5 times before I understood what she was trying to tell me. I explain this as SSBD or Snow Shoe Brain Damage. I think I pulled a muscle out there and that muscle is the gray one inside my skull.

Thank God for the Patriots kicking total butt!

IT'S HERE! THE AMAZINGT SNOW SCOOP!

2008-12-15T13:45:00.000-08:00

Christmas has come early in the Voornas household! The Amazing Snow Scoop (or the Amazing Rip-Off) has come! I read an article in the paper a few weeks back about this sled looking scoop with a wheel! It's apparently suppose to make life SOOO much easier when it snows. I'll be the judge of that.

Now all I need is snow! Not too much snow, 4 inches and below please. After that we have someone come and plow out the condo. Check out my new Amazing Snow Scoop!

I just got it and have to put the wheel on the other side...that cardboard thing is extra blades (yes...I bought extra blades!) Okay everyone...wish for snow!!

ICE STORM GUILT

2008-12-14T13:41:00.000-08:00

The second ice storm. 10 years ago I was on the hill in a different spot and uh, I didn't lose power...not even a flicker. This ice storm I'm still on the hill (that's Munjoy Hill) and again, I didn't lose power.

I know, I know. I'm sorry. Hell, Teddy STILL doesn't have power! (by the way, he is REALLY sick of all the bad luck).

Everyone I know lost power. I swear, every single person. I haven't said a thing because...well - I have power! I have a shower, I have tv, a computer, fridge, stove...my God I love power. I am not even going to mention how pretty the storm was, cuz that might get me lynched.

I hope to God no one asks me if I lost power...cuz I might be forced to mumble or even lie!

THAT WAS VERY PLEASANT

2008-12-08T13:35:00.001-08:00

The first Saturday in December is reserved for my "crazy" friends of friends from Connecticut. There are 7 of us and we bombard Freeport with shopping and eating as our only goals. We always start nice and early, break for the buffet at the Harraseekett Inn and then BAM it's back out to shop. We end with stuffing our pie holes at home - this time it was taco night.

This year I was certain there would be a less festive feeling in the air because of the economy. I know I did more window shopping than actual purchasing, and I didn't pay full price for anything.

But, the retail workers were amazing. Rose at Burberry's was soooo nice. April at Polo Factory - hello, she's like family now. Even the gang at Horny Toad was above and beyond (would have remembered their name but was entering shopping coma by that point).

I have heard horror stories about how mean customers AND retail workers have been. That's too bad. I even had cramps and could muster up a smile and a "hi". I just don't get why some people have to be douche bags - it's the holiday season for cripes sake! I wanted to give some shout outs to everyone who made my big ol' Freeport shopping day a great, fun day!

DID I MENTION IT WAS SNOWING?!

2008-12-07T11:56:00.000-08:00

It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing!

Did I mention it was snowing?

THANKSGIVING 2008

2008-11-29T18:18:00.000-08:00

I went down to NH to spend Thanksgiving with my "adopted" family. It's where I've spent the last 17 Thanksgivings. It was a wonderful time, made even better by Teddy coming with! My adopted family is my bff's family who have taken me in pretty much since I moved to Maine.

We invited Teddy because his family is all the way down in Boston, and we wanted him to come with us. Plus...I wanted to hang out with Teddy to pick his brain. He was recently laid off from his full time slot to part time. That would by why you now hear Ryan Seacrest in the afternoon. I can't get into exactly how I feel, but let me just say that we are all very disappointed with this decision and devastated at the loss of one of the greatest radio guys ever.

But this blog is about Thanksgiving...one of the best holidays ever. It revolves around food and you don't have to buy any presents.

Teddy and I had a great time. He's like a brother to me. I actually have two brothers, but feel closer to Teddy than my actual blood brothers. My favorite part about Teddy is that he really cracks me up. I love that about him...so I laughed a lot this Thanksgiving. And now my "adopted" family wants him to come for Christmas.

I did learn that wine, turkey and pie adds up to this:

My God...could this photo be more unflattering? And watch the hand Teddy McKay! I don't care if your hours have been cut! I would have to count this Thanksgiving in the top 5!

WORLD AIDS DAY IS MONDAY 12/01

2008-11-26T16:33:00.000-08:00

Not a toe tapping subject, but important none the less. Wanna fun way to learn about AIDS? I'm not kidding. I'm totally addicted to the AVERT AIDS Challenge. I've made it to level 7, but my score is pretty low. Try it and learn about Aids.

CHRISTMAS IS TOTALLY IN THE AIR

2008-11-21T13:42:00.000-08:00

Sorry I didn't say "holidays" are in the air...but for me it's Christmas. And I grew up in a pretty religious free home so Christmas to me was all about presents and family. I friggin' loved it! I guess that's what it is for most kids, but seriously, I didn't even know about Jesus' birthday until I was in my 20's. Well, maybe a little younger.

I do have one memory that even beats out Christmas morning. It was the wrapping parties we had growing up. We'd all pick a day to go Christmas shopping. We'd head to downtown Boise or the Mall (both of those things were very small in Idaho in the 70's). Then we'd drag our booty back home, make lots and lots of yummy hors d'oeuvres and make tents from blankets and pillows in the family room and all wrap our presents while stuffing our pie hole with everything from pickled herring (my family was weird) to those little pizza bites. Hell, I cannot for the life of me remember the name of them. You know the ones, they come in the yellow box and have about a dozen and they are frozen and you put them in the oven and they become little molten lava pizza bites. Damn those were good. We'd have olives and cheese and crackers, and smoked almonds! We only had smoked almonds at Christmas. One year we had caviar. It was gross. But nice try Mom and Dad.

Anyway, when the tree went up this week...I started remembering Christmas' as a kid and how much those wrapping parties meant to me. I think it was the fun of making a fort with everyone else in the same room and eating. God I do love eating. Too bad you have to be so good about eating when you get older. Seriously...if I ate what I wanted to, I'd weigh a good 300 pounds. You know what? Don't grocery shop when you are hungry and don't blog when you are hungry.

HOLY COW IS THAT GOOD!!

2008-11-07T15:31:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago, I went down to Connecticut to see my "adopted" family. On the way, I always make a stop at the Charleton Plaza, in Mass. to pee. On this occasion, despite trying to be good, I got a pretzel from Auntie Anne's Pretzels. They had JUST come out of the oven. Now don't get me wrong, I love my adopted family, but that pretzel was by far the best part of the four hour drive too CT!

I talked about Auntie Anne's and how if this radio thing didn't work out, I would get a franchise just so I could eat those pretzels over and over again. That's when a kind listener let me know that they actually sell

AUNTIE ANNE'S PRETZEL KITS!

I immediately bought one and it came quick! But I read the directions and it seemed like it might take some time...and well, I just didn't have it. Until today. It was my only purpose today.

First off, let me just say that the box lies like a bastard: "Ready in 45 minutes!" My ass! The dough rises for 45 minutes alone! So, set aside a good hour and a half for this. As I struggled with the dough, and the actual making of the pretzels...I was actually thinking that driving 6 hours round trip might actually be easier!

That is until they came out of the oven. I'm not sure, but I think I heard angles sing when I pulled out the golden brown bundles of joy. I just want to say for the record...if you are a pretzel fan - GET THESE FRIGGIN' PRETZELS! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go overeat.

ELECTION FUN!

2008-11-01T12:33:00.001-07:00

I couldn't be happier that we vote on Tuesday. Lord am I sick of it. Every part of it. I always feel dirty when the campaigns roll around and this one has been especially icky. I swear politicians think we're idiots. Hell, maybe we are - cuz we eat it up every time.

But Jeff Parsons made my day with a website that is addictive fun...but only if you think Sarah Palin is semi mentally disabled. If you like Sarah Palin and think she'd make a fine president DO NOT GO TO THIS WEBSITE.

But if you'd like to have fun...check out Sarah Palin for President. Keep clicking everything in the office. And don't just click once...keep clicking until you have stopped laughing.

And should you be someone who just has no idea who to vote for, there are lots of sites to help you make up your mind (why is your mind NOT made up yet?!). This is a pretty good site to answer some questions and then figure out if you like Obama, McCain or even good ol' Ralph Nadar. Vote Chooser. Whatever you do, vote. It's what separates us from China. Well, that and lead in everything.

BAD GIRL, BAD GIRL. WHATCHA GONNA DO?

2008-10-27T13:46:00.000-07:00

Coming back from visiting my "adopted" family in Connecticut, I was well...speeding along on the Maine Turnpike just past the Kennebunk rest stop. As I was going around 78-80mph I thought to myself, "Boy...I hope I don't get a ticket."

It was weird. I literally had this strange feeling as though I might get a ticket. I can't explain it. Plus, there was this strange car that I had a feeling was a cop car, but I had no reason to. The plates were "normal", the driver was "normal" and there was NOTHING on this car that looked like a cop. Nothing.

The car that looked just like this one only black I passed in the fast lane. I glanced over at the guy driving. "Normal" looking guy too. Then he pulled in behind me...and that 's when the flashing blue lights went on.

My heart immediately went into my throat and I just about crapped my pants. THAT WAS A COP??! And I had that sinking feeling all along too! Soooo weird. So, when he pulls me over - I'm semi ready for him. My license was in a coat pocket in my overnight bag in the back seat. I figured I'd better not twist around and try to get it or he'll think I'm going for a gun and arrest my ass. So I had my registration and insurance and waited for him. He came over and was realllly mad! He said, "DO YOU KNOW HOW FAST YOU WERE GOING?!"

I stammered out a meek, "75?"

"NO!" he yelled, "YOU WERE GOING 78 AND THEN 80 WHEN YOU PASSED ME!" Then he lectured me about how sick and tired he was of writing out tickets today and that I had better slow down and drive safer! He didn't ask for anything. No license, no nothing. He just warned me (no written warning) and stomped off. I was stunned. It was a state trooper! And he let me go with a parental warning.

I was never so grateful! Two seconds after I safely pulled back into traffic, he had two cars pulled over and was at it again.

Whoever you are Mr. State Trooper, thanks for the 300 dollar savings. I don't know what I did that made you let me go...but I really appreciate it!

WOW...WHAT AN EVENT

2008-10-20T02:37:00.000-07:00

Every year when we do our breast cancer fundraiser, I freak out. It's just part of my personality...I simply can't help but be paralyzingly scared to death. I'm just scared that our "Cans for a Cure" won't go well, or that the show will suck for three days...that it will simply sound like begging - and I'm always scared we simply won't hit our goal and get the Maine Cancer Foundation or the Cancer Community Center the money they need and deserve.

And every year I am always blown out of the water with the generosity of our listeners. It stops me cold.

Some stories are gut wrenching with loss. Some are so filled with strength and hope. But everyone is just so damn generous. This year you cannot swing a dead cat without hitting a news story of the world coming to an end. GAS, HEAT, WALL STREET, GROCERIES...ALL TOO EXPENSIVE!

And yet people showed up. With bags and bags of returnables. With money. With stories. And it all pushed us up and wayyy over our goal of a quarter of a million bottles and cans to over 305,000! That's a lot of money one nickle at a time.

So, this seems like a rambling pointless blog (isn't that the point of a blog?) but I just wanted you to know that it is appreciated more than my no college education can think of saying. So thanks...thanks a ton!

INCREDIBLE HULK

2008-10-05T15:57:00.000-07:00

Okay. I'm usually a pretty even keeled person (except for the 28 out of 30 days a month I'm pms-ing). But there is something happening in my neighborhood that has been bugging the CRAP outta me!

The triple decker apartment building across the street is getting painted. But there is ONE guy doing it and he's in one of those lift things. You know it looks like a cherry picker on steroids...and it's blue. AND IT BEEPS.

AND BEEPS AND BEEPS AND BEEPS AND BEEPS AND BEEPS!!!

It beeps if you move it. It beeps if it's uneven. It double beeps if you move it AND it's uneven. Well, this guy has been painting for two weeks now. I have heard so much beeping that I have been going out of my BEEPING mind!

So, yesterday I said something to him. I had to whistle like I was calling a cab to get his attention, because of the...yup, beeping. He was sitting in the little cage a couple of stories up NOT moving and painting while his steroid cherry picker beeped.

I said, "Hi."

He said, "I know, I know...I'm trying to work quickly and not disturb the neighborhood." (too late buddy).

I asked, "Why are you beeping?"
"Because it's uneven, and if I could drive through that tree it would stop beeping."

I said dejected, "Oh," and walked away.

I think he hates me. But today the beeping was much better. He either leveled that BEEPing thing or simply used an old fashioned ladder! But I feel less like the Incredible Hulk with less beeping.

OOPS...I FORGOT

2008-09-29T14:02:00.000-07:00

I had dinner at a really nice place in Portland. A place of my people, Emilitsa, a fairly new Greek restaurant on Congress Street in Portland. It's what a call I "treat" restaurant. In other words, the price does not make this a weekly visit...and these days, well that could be the last time I visit in a longgg time. the treat was my birthday. But the food is wonderful, the presentation beautiful and the atmosphere is hip and cool (the complete oposite of me). I highly recommend it. Some of the best Greek food going.

But that's not the story. I went with Teddy (you know - the guy we "open" for) and my friend Brenda Broder from Amore Styles. She is the person responsible for making me look 40 and not 60. Dinner was at 6pm. Teddy was there, my BFF was there, I was there...but no Brenda. No problem.

It's now 630pm. Still no Brenda. Could she actually have forgotten? After calling and getting her voice mail on her cell phone, we tracked her down at her house. Guess what? She was in bed after a full day of apple picking. She was in her jammies and ready for a comfortable night at home. Poor Brenda. She was horrified that she forgot my birthday dinner. She hopped in her car and high tailed it down to Emilitsa. We ordered for her (a drink was top on her list) and had such a fun night! We laughed and ate, and ate and ate. I felt bad for dragging her out of bed, but was glad she actually came out to play.

But don't think that I didn't give her a ton of crap for actually FORGETTING my birthday dinner. Isn't guilt wonderful? hehehehehehehe

SNOTTY, SNOTTY MCSNOTTY

2008-09-25T07:04:00.000-07:00

Teddy told me about a listener who came up to him at a recent remote. She was excited to see the Q Van and even more excited to meet Teddy McKay. She quickly told him how much she loves the Q and "The Q Morning Show with Meredith, Jeff and Lori". BUT (there's always a but) that Lori is "conceited." Teddy did his best not to laugh and also defend me, but she persisted. She went on to tell Teddy that she just loves Meredith but that Lori is snotty. Snotty? You know what? I started thinking about that. Although I have never thought of myself as snotty - she's RIGHT! I'm totally snotty. I don't mean to be, but hell listen to my credentials for snottydom:

- don't eat transfats, hate chain restaurants
- watches tennis AND plays tennis
- cook with spices like Smoked Hungarian Paprika
- can't stand "America's Got Talent" because I don't think they do
- my pinkie flies out when I pick up a drink
- I won't eat processed food
- I walk the Eastern Prom for exercise

I'm afraid I have bad news too. I think this is only gonna get worse the older I get. I'll be old and snotty. Oooooo, not a good combo!

HOW ADORABLE IS THIS CAT?

2008-09-18T06:30:00.000-07:00

Lincoln my kitty found himself a moth. He was a crazed cat about this moth. He was making weird sounds and moving his mouth in a really odd way. But the best part were his crazed eyeballs. It was spooky AND adorable all in the same time. See?

Lincoln the cat

MOVIE REVIEW "BURN AFTER READING"

2008-09-15T13:37:00.000-07:00

I saw "Burn After Reading" with Brad Pitt and George Clooney. It's a Cohen brother's movie. Sometimes I love the Cohen brothers, "Fargo" and sometimes I scratch my head and wonder what I'm missing, "No Country For Old Men". I was excited when I read reviews that the new movie was a return to "Fargo". It is definitely the crazy cult comedy of "Fargo". Shocking twists, and very, very funny. It's the kind of funny that "Pulp Fiction" was. But the best part of the movie (or any movie for that matter) is that I didn't check my watch once and when it was over - I wanted more. It won't win any awards, but you won't feel like you wasted your money...as long as you liked "Fargo" that is.

THAT'S PURDY

2008-09-14T05:17:00.000-07:00

In the battle of the bulge, I try to walk around the Eastern Prom once to twice a day. It's not that I'm a fatty - it's just that I have a soft, squishy middle...and well - I'm just trying to keep it down to a minimum.

The daytime walks have been great for weather, lots of sunshine and a little bite in the air. But the other night, the sky was a bright pumpkin orange. I could see it as I approached the school on North Street, but didn't' have a clear shot. By the time I actually got to the end of the Eastern Prom, the sky wasn't as orange...but still picture worthy.

Okay, since I'm no photographer...imagine that in bright orange! It was beautiful.

I'M A FASHIONISTA...NOT!

2008-09-07T12:37:00.000-07:00

Went to an "engagement party" this weekend. First off, I've never been to an engagement party before. Who knew? The party was on a cruise down in Boston on a big ol' boat called "The Odyssey". Now, I was going as a guest of a family member of the bride to be, and really didn't know what to expect. I did know it was a dressy affair, but not formal or anything over the top.

I also knew that Hanna the storm was messing with our weather. So - here's what I was thinking. I'll dress so that I won't be cold on a boat in a storm out on the water. I looked nice with a dark brown short sleeved turtleneck and light tan linen pants (I'm not a dress person). I also had this adorable short dark brown jacket...it was a pretty nice outfit if I do say so myself.

As I drove from rainy Maine down to Boston, it got warmer, and warmer and sunnier and sunnier.

By the time I got to the boat (a really nice one in Rose Harbor) I was sweating my ass off in my TURTLENECK! It was 85 degrees...and that includes out on the water too! Oh sure, I looked amazing, with my forhead collecting sweat like I had just run a marathon.

But the lucky couple looked gorgeous and the food was amazing! Speaking of food - I also wasn't sure what the food situation would be so I ate a huge breakfast. Sometimes my doofessness even amazes me.

OSCAR THE CAT

2008-09-04T13:19:00.000-07:00

It didn't take me long to shed the joy of "staycation" afterglow and get right back into work routine...although a 3 day week aint bad.

So, I'm doing one of my favorite things: sitting on my incredibly tiny 2nd floor deck with my laptop working. The sun is amazing and it's nice to have the fresh air. There is an older lady that lives in the neighborhood and will walk her dog.

But there is a black and white cat that is always about 10 feet behind this woman...always. She's a regular on the hill, so I see her and her dog and this cat a lot. His name is Oscar.

I asked this nice lady once how she is able to take a cat for a walk...and he stays near. She told me that she rescued Oscar years ago and ever since then...he NEVER leaves her. He is an outdooor cat. His food and water are both outside - but wherever this woman goes, Oscar is right there. She thinks he's showing loyalty for being saved. I have had a lot of cats in my life time and I have never seen anything like it. It truly is one of the sweetest sights.

Just thought I'd share that as I sit and watch Oscar follow behind.

THE FINAL DAYS OF STAYCATION '08

2008-09-02T10:09:00.000-07:00

Ohhhhhhhh nooooooo! I have to go back to work tomorrow. I squeaked in an extra day in there. I love listening to the show and hearing Meredith and Jeff bitch about doing the news. Hello?! I do it every ding dong day.

Okay - onto what I have filled my days with for the final two days. I have done an awful lot of walking around. It's the benefit of living so close to town. So, as I walked to get pizza the other night (by the way I wussed out and got a cab for the ride home....WUSS!) I saw some dude walking down Congress Street with a friggin' snake wrapped around his neck like a scarf? Man...there are a lot of weirdos out there.

I made my grilled tuna with the Japanese marinade. Not too shabby and my tomato gratin (got the recipe from the Portland Press Herald) was great! Of course, you put 8 tablespoons of butter in anything and it will be great!

I have been doing stupid stuff that I never have time to do. Like for instance (you'll love this one) I duct taped a 50 pound bag of sand that I hoist up onto my washing machine whenever I do laundry to keep that sucker from shaking off it's perch. I know, I know...totally a loser thing to do. But, it's now done.

I never did get to cleaning out my 3rd floor closets that have become a haven for "shoving stuff" in there. I just couldn't stay inside with the weather so nice. I will do that my next winter staycation!

Today (Tuesday the 2nd) I have been doing my favorites for one last time. Getting up and getting my DD coffee, the paper and doing the Eastern Prom walk with my backpack filled with water. Then I have actually been doing some work and planning the shows for the rest of the week. I think we will have some pretty fun shows.

Actually right now between the kids screaming next door (when does that INSIDE voice kick in anyway?) and the crows I'm getting annoyed as all hell. Ahhhhh, the things you find to bitch about, eh?

I am amazed that people have been reading this blog. It makes me want to blog more. I will try to do it daily - but you may be amazed at just how boring my life can get. I tend to love and hate the routine of it all. I strive so hard to find that rhythm and then when I get it going...I need something to break me out of it. I find that to be a very much Lori trait. My God - I'm rambling.

Okay - I'm off to start gathering the news for tomorrow. Meredith and Jeff are right, I hate doing the news too :)

STAYCATION - DAY 8 & 9

2008-09-01T05:54:00.000-07:00

Oh boy...the days are running into each other and becoming one big blur of relaxation. Although the anxiety of ending my staycation and going back to work is starting to kick in.

First a couple of the highlights of the last couple of days. Went and saw "Wall-E" all by myself. Now, I have no problem seeing a movie by myself. One things for sure, no one will be talking to me during the movie or chomping loudly on popcorn.

But the reason I had to see "Wall-E" by myself is because no one would friggin' go with me! DFTO (remember her from a few blogs ago?) said she couldn't even begin to understand why I would want to see that movie since I don't have kids. Hello?! Pixar?! The "Toy Story" people...only one of my favorite movies.

I enjoyed the movie very much...but can't imagine kids digging it at all. It's a little slow moving for kids. And it's very subtle...another trick lost on kids. Here's proof. When the movie was over, a 4 year old in front of me who was very good throughout the movie said...loudly, "Is it over yet?" THAT was the funniest thing in the movie!

Then I ate some street vendor food, (a potato knish* - really tasty!) which is one of my favorite things to do on vacation.

In the last couple of days I have not cooked and have gotten Thai and pizza. But tonight it all changes back to cooking and getting back into the routine. I am making tuna steaks with a Japanese marinade, tomato gratin, steamed fresh beats and grilled corn on the cop (and of course a salad). Man...writing that out, it sounds awesome!

Speaking of awesome (my favorite adjective) how 'bout this weather?! Crazy mo fo good. I couldn't be more grateful! In fact, I'm on the way to my secret beach today! Probably the last time I'll get to the beach this season. Sigh...that just made me sad.

*have you noticed I can't even do street vendor food right? A potato knish? Who the hell eats that over a hot dog? See? I do recognize I'm a weirdo.

STAYCATION - DAY 7

2008-08-30T12:20:00.000-07:00

Day 7 got off to a slow start. I was all confused by these weird things in the sky...I think they are called clouds. Made it darker than it has been.

So, I watched a movie (on demand channels rock). It was called "The Painted Veil". If you are looking for a very depressing story about cholera in 1925 China, then THIS is the movie for you! Hate to say it, but it was pretty good - even though it made me cry.

I actually went to work Friday 8/29/08. Had to get some stuff done. Those staycations are dangerous for that work thing. Anyway, it was fun to be at work, but not REALLY be at work. Is it bad I sort of miss it and sort of don't miss it?

Then it was off to dinner with some friends. A threesome quickly turned into a fivesome and it was a blast. Had reservations at Caiola's on the West End. Now, this is gonna sound snotty, but I don't mean it to. I know the owners and one of the owners Lisa, sat with us for dinner. She is awesome, but when the owner of a place sits with you...well, I felt like a rockstar. It was sooooo much fun. And the food was amazing, as usual. Then one of my friends mentioned that it was her neice's birthday and she was going to drop off Funtown tickets to her after dinner.

She said that her 11 year old niece Electra, was a huge fan of the show and couldn't believe that her Aunt knew LORI VOORNAS. How cute is that (again, another part that' sounds snotty, but I swear it's not!). She asked if I wouldn't mind coming over after dinner to just say hi. I'd love it! She called to make sure that Electra was home and when Aunt Cathy told her that Lori Voornas was gonna stop by she said, "Shut up!"

How adorable is that?! I always am taken back when kids are sooooo excited to see a dj that plays their favorite music. I remember meeting a couple of djs when I was little and it was a really big deal for me. Electra could not have been nicer! What a sweet kid.

Then I walked home (thank God...I ate a ton of food) and stayed up wayyyy past my bedtime watching crappy tv. Man I love staycations!

STAYCATION - DAY 6

2008-08-28T14:10:00.000-07:00

What gorgeous weather we have been having! Yes, I just knocked on wood. Played tennis for the first time this season. The reason my tennis playing has taken a turn to NOT playing is "Daniell From The Office"...we'll call her DFTO from now on. She left our office for another office and well...it's harder to get together.

But I'm on staycation and she was up for playing. I don't get to see DFTO as often as I'd like, but I talk to her alllll the time. She is my best bud. Usually when we play tennis, I overheat immediately and have to have water. Now, I'm about 15 years older than DFTO, so cut me some slack.

Well, today while we were playing, DFTO kept asking if I needed to take a break...I told her I was good. She's so thoughtful to ask. Then she asked one more time, "Are you SURE you don't need a break?!" Then I thought, "Do you?" She did.

Now here is where I would usually run around proudly saying that I outlasted DFTO for a break! But it's not even remotely fair:

a) she had to work this morning and had been up for 8 hours by the time I saw her
b) I got a full 8 hours of sleep and had done nothing that morning
c) she can kick my ass

But it was kinda nice to not have to be the one who needed a break. We may play again tomorrow...although she warned me not to blog about it or she wouldn't play. I told her no one reads my blog. I think I may have convinced her.

Oh, then I made a ton of turkey meatballs (two kinds - ricotta/basil and garlic/parmesean) and froze them to have for meals during the week. Jeff geeks out over trains and I geek out over food.

I'm about to chow down, lick my wounds from a walk off Yankee win and relax. This staycation thing is exhausting!

STAYCATION - DAY 5

2008-08-27T14:42:00.000-07:00

Okay, by now you know the Lori staycation drill. Wake up and drive to DD to get the coffee and paper...then walk the prom. Done.

Then I made a snack and headed to my favorite beach. The one I'm still not telling you what it is. This is where my friends and I came up with a list of the "best things ever!"

8 straight hours of sleep
reading the paper at the beach
perfectly done chicken
hair that looks good when you wake up
a clean house

Then it was off to see Brenda and the "twins" to have them all cut and color my hair. Yeah, that's right...color. I have been doing it for a couple of years now and I'm completely addicted. It sucks. I can NEVER go back. In fact, I don't even know what the hell color my hair really is...but I know it's the color of old.

Then I picked up my truck from Cumberland Avenue Garage (no website, but they are on the corner of Cumberland Ave -duh- and Washington Ave at the bottom of the hill). Mike and Trevor are soooo cool and I trust them completely. I needed a lot of work done and now my truck actually stops when I brake.

Then it was time for some chicken. I made a rub that goes under the skin then grilled it. Now, I had planned on making this earlier in the week and well...didn't. So, being a paranoid freak I was reallllly concerned that the chicken was okay. If anyone had seen me, they would have thought I was making sweet love to that chicken the way I was sniffing it. I deemed it acceptable. But I almost chucked it! I'm about to chow down now.

Tomorrow it's tennis for the first time this season with "Danielle from the office". More on her tomorrow.

STAYCATION - DAY 4

2008-08-26T15:34:00.000-07:00

First things first. Thanks Jeff for the comment. I knew you would just LOVE what I said about "The Dark Knight".

I started the morning off in the usual way. With a drive to Dunkin Donuts for my large Hazelnut and paper. Then it was another walk around the prom with my 90's Walkman. But instead of Teddy and Meredith I listened to the competition. I felt much better about what we do after listening for a good hour and a half. Phew...we don't suck as bad as some. No...I won't name names.

Today was another errand running day. Wal-Mart day. I go 2-3 times a year and load up on the essentials...toilet paper, paper towels...ya know - that stuff. I shopped enough to get me to my next time off in December! Ahhhhh, the fun never ends for Lori's staycation!

Then I reorganized my bathroom cabinet (imagine a Virgo PMSing and you'd understand how that was fun for me). I also got the call from my mechanic (did I mention I dropped off my truck to get an oil change and look over?) It's six years old and I can tell it needed some TLC. Actually it needs about 750.00 worth off TLC and brake pads. This is turning into an expensive staycation.

I went to Silly's for dinner. I love that place. I sat outside for the first time, had a beer and left my "to go" order of chocolate cake on the table. My waiter could not have been nicer and chased me down. Phew...I'm having that later.

Tomorrow is haircut day and then Brenda Broder, (you know Brenda) is coming over for dinner! I'm making spice rubbed grilled chicken with a risotto and veggies...oh and salad. She hates salad...I'll eat hers.

And one more thing. I had a dream that I was at a food festival with tables upon tables upon tables of food. But I got there late and the only things left were jello, canned corn and cereals. How much would that suck!?

STAYCATION - DAY 3

2008-08-25T14:50:00.000-07:00

Oh boy. I am really cooking in the vacation mode. Woke up early (6am is sleeping in for me!) and went to Dunkin Donuts to grab the paper and coffee. Came back, slipped on my 1997 Walkman and walked the Boulevard while listening to Teddy and Meredith. Don't ask. It's just some sick way of still working. They did a fine show today and I was thrilled I wasn't there.

Then I showered and headed to the (ready?) DMV to renew my license and get into the digital world. I went to the DMV at the Maine Mall because I heard that the lines are shorter.

Nope.

And I must say, I'm not sure why the DMV attracts the most unattractive people (me included) but it does. I picked a number and waited for 14 people to take care of God knows what. About an hour later I renewed my license in 3 seconds. I can't wait for that digital photo to come in the mail. I look like a doofus.

Then it was off to see "The Dark Knight"...finally!

Here we go. No one ever posts comments on my blog, but this will probably spread like the Collins video. I LOVED the first hour and a half of the movie and thought the last hour was completely useless and pretty much ruined the movie.

Not sure what the hell they needed over 2 1/2 hours for, by the time that movie was over I was soooo grateful it was over. My God. Could it be longer, could it be more depressing, could you show me Two Face's face anymore? I just LOVED the movie up until The Joker was caught and put in jail. Then it just dragged on and on and on and on and on and on! I know. I am the ONLY person on the entire planet who thinks that. Oh well. And of course Heath Ledger is getting the Oscar - he was amazing.

I liked "Tropic Thunder" better. Now...let's see if THAT gets a comment.

Stopped on the way home to a place called "Laknoia Greek Olive Oil" on 575 Rte One in Saco (it's just before the connector to the Turnpike). It was amazing. Picked up 70 dollars worth of olives, olive oil, salad dressing, oregano, Dolmathes and Spanikopita! A sweet little Greek family owns this new business and I am thrilled that I've got my parents Christmas all figured out!

I liked "Lakonia" better than "The Dark Knight".
I liked the DMV better than "The Dark Knight".

STAYCATION - DAY 2

2008-08-24T15:41:00.000-07:00

Hey...lookee me! I remembered! Actually, I just had to tell you my big adventure today. Actually THREE big adventures!

1) I ordered yet another thing from TV. In 4-6 weeks I will be the proud owner of 8 (not 4, but 8) "Sham-wows"! That's right...it's the towel that works like magic and the guy told me I would never have to buy paper towels ever again! Of course I will try it out on the air.

2) I made coleslaw with my wizard slicer thingy. I love that friggin' plastic piece of crap! I have never had coleslaw cut so thin...so perfect...so amazing. It made me even more excited about my SHAMWOW!

3) I grilled salmon using a cedar plank I bought from Harbor Fish in Portland. First let me just tell you how much I love my Harbor Fish. It is quintessential Portland Maine. Not just Maine...but Portland Maine. I love everything about that place. Robin and Charlie and everyone behind the counter...and that fish. Nothing better.

Okay, back to my cedar plank. I bought a couple pounds of wild salmon (I read that farm raised is not nearly as good for you) and a couple cedar planks. You soak them, then put your fish on it (I put teriayki sauce on the filet) and then you put the whole plank RIGHT ON THE GRILL! The wood smokes and it gets into the fish. It was the best friggin' salmon I have ever had.

That's about it for day two. Although I am about to walk and get some ice cream. See? If I walk to get ice cream, I can eat twice as much! I love me vacations!!

STAYCATION - DAY 1

2008-08-23T12:43:00.000-07:00

Okay. I thought, "Wouldn't it be cool if I blogged every day of my staycation?" **

A) Probably not.
B) Probably will forget after Day 1
C) Do you care?

Screw it...the Sox are down 11-0 and I'm in the mood. Have already seen a movie and NO it wasn't "The Dark Knight"...I'm going, I'm going! I saw "Tropic Thunder" because I just read a review in Newsweek that made it sound better than if Jesus came back. It was VERY good. Jack Black and Tom Cruise are worth the price of admission! I laughed my ass off and throughly enjoyed every minute!

Today went to my favorite beach in the whole world. I haven't been to the friggin' beach since May. You remember May, the sunny month we had? I would tell you what my favorite beach is but then you might go and make it crowded. If you are DYING to know, email me and I'll reveal the secret.

Tonight I'm meeting friends for dinner at Gilbert's Chowder House. I love that place. The food is amazing and I don't feel bad that I haven't shaved. In otherwords, it's pretty casual. Now...let's see if I actually give you a Day 2.

**yes...I'm sticking around Maine and laying low.

GUESS WHAT I SAW!

2008-08-19T18:01:00.000-07:00

Okay, not sure if you have heard me spew my hatred for John Edwards. You know the pig virus that cheated on his wife who has incurable cancer? Yeah, that pig. Anyway, I saw a "Edwards '08" bumper sticker.

I'm not kidding. WHO HAS THAT STILL ON THEIR CAR?! I came very close to leaving a note on the car. I did not.

THE DOG DAYS OF SUMMER

2008-08-15T13:16:00.000-07:00

Hi. Are you just like me and really wondering what we did to upset God so he/she (ya never know) punishes us with a lousy summer? Well, cheer up. At this rate things can ONLY get better!

August '08 Fun Facts:

1) It hasn't hit 80 yet and it is 8/15/08.
2) We have had almost 6 inches of rain in Portland.
3) That is almost 426% of the normal amount of rainfall for the entire month.
4) Farmers are losing their crops
5) I'm losing my mind!

Think sun!

IT SLICES, IT EVEN JULIENNES!

2008-08-10T12:59:00.000-07:00

I wake up pretty early for my job...3am. I have a routine. I plop myself infront of the TV for about 10 minutes reading the scroll at the bottom of the screen on either CNN, FOX, or whoever is running it at 3am. I just want to catch a couple of the headlines before jumping in the shower.

I often have to sit through 5 minutes of commercials before I get my scroll fix. One morning, Billy Mayes (my hero) came on to tell me about the Vidalia Slice Wizard. This thing looked amazing. It could be my unhealthy addiction to the show "Top Chef" that made me want this thing. No not want...need!

So, I jotted down the website in my groggy 3am haze and ordered it later in the day when I was awake.

6-8 weeks later this plastic piece of crap from China came. Pieces of my Vidalia Slice Wizard were rattling around in the box. I was not impressed. So, being a radio dj - I thought I would do a public service and try this bad boy out on the air...with no rehearsal - for the first time!

I put it together, got my Vidalia onion and sliced away. I saw nothing. My safety food holder thingy glided effortlessly over the sharp blade and nothing. Or so I thought. Then I moved the Vidalia Slice Wizard and VIOLA! there before me (oh and Jeff and Meredith) were amazingly thin slices of my onion. Perfect thin slices. Slices so thin and perfect that it could only be produced by either magic or THE VIDALIA SLICE WIZARD!

I'm in love. I have been slicing things I don't even want. Potatoes, green peppers...ANYTHING! I am not one to buy a lot of crap off the TV, in fact, I have never even landed on The Shopping Netword or QVC. But I am digging this damn piece of crap!

Billy Mayes is my hero...I even dig that beard.

The 80's

2008-07-29T14:03:00.000-07:00

Ahhhh the 80's. The decade that I grew up in and where I had my craziest times as a young adult. Also a terrific time for movies. Or was it. Got into an argument recently about movies from the 80's. I think "The Terminator" is one of the greatest movies of all times. But if I saw it today for the first time, would I still think that?

Here's an example. I was living in Los Angeles in 1983 and had just graduated high school. The movie, "Fast Times At Ridgemont High" was all the rage. Somehow I missed it. So, as a 42 year old, I recently watched that movie.

It sucked.

But I will never forget all my friends and pretty much the entire world thinking this was THE movie to beat all movies. And I'm pretty sure I would have agreed, had I seen it in 1983!

Another example. I also missed out the first time around for the movie, "Ferris Bueller's Day Off". Saw that as a grown up. LAME-O!!

So, who else is an 80's freak who hasn't seen a movie that was the "don't miss" movie of that time? Do me a favor and watch it and let me know if I am just growing into my father, or if I'm onto something!

Feed the world...get smarter

2008-07-04T10:48:00.000-07:00

Back a couple of months ago, a listener "JB" turned me onto a website that is worth sharing.

Free Rice

When you click into this website, you have to figure out the definition to different words. With every correct word you get right, you donate rice! I found it incredibly addictive AND guilt free. This time while I was wasting time online, I was actually getting a little smarter and helping the world. Im up to level 36! Have fun

He's at it again!

2008-06-14T13:32:00.001-07:00

Remember the guy with the Snicker's video a couple of years back? His name is Mike Beaudoin. He made a video about how great Snicker's are and he won an online contest and some cash. Well, he's doing it again - this time it's Budget Rental Car. Now if that doesn't just scream make a video and sing about us, I don't know what does.

But Mike DID make a video and he DOES sing about Budget Rental Car...and ya know what? It's really fun. There's no voting this time around, but he will be judged by how many people check out his video...so I thought I'd post it in my blog to see if I can help him win another contest.

Click here to see Mike sing about Budget Rental Car.

I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE!

2008-05-26T11:30:00.000-07:00

Someone emailed me something that I found amazing. Maybe you know about this, maybe I'm the only one on the planet who did not know this! If you grab your foil, or seran wrap or generic box of wrap, pick it up and look at the skinny end. See that? It says, "Press here to lock end." It's a friggin' little tab that holds the roll in place. AND IT'S ALWAYS BEEN THERE!

I was so excited about my new discovery, that I called my mom in Idaho and told her to go grab her foil! She did and was excited as I told her in shortened breath that I was about to teach her something that was going to change her life! I told her about the tabs and this is what she said:

"I know about that already honey."

What?! What kind of a lousy mom holds that information from her children?! She thought it was "cute" that I didn't know about it. The years I have flung the roll out of the container and tried desparately to find the end of the seran wrap could have been avoided! Mom apologized that she never told me that...after she stopped laughing.

Did you know that?

CHEAP GAS

2008-05-18T08:59:00.000-07:00

Hilarie sent me a link that I want to share. All ya do is plug in your zip code, and VIOLA it will show you where the cheapest gas in your area is. It will also show you where the most expensive gas is too! I have never seen gas prices change daily like they are. So, what the hell...maybe this will save us a couple of bucks. Check it out HERE!

I WANT ME A GOLDFISH

2008-05-07T06:27:00.000-07:00

Have you heard about the goldfish that can do tricks? It's true! Now, I have a real thing about adorable animals...even fishies. So, when I saw the video I just about died. I HAD TO HAVE A GOLDFISH!

Check out the fish tricks here!

Now that I have you hooked and you want to teach your very own goldfish tricks, you can buy the kit at Amazon for only 30 bucks. Mine is on the way right now! Yes, I spent 30 dollars to teach a goldfish tricks. Now I just need a goldfish. Get your R2 Fish School kit here!

Cluster Fudge is nutty.

2008-04-24T13:47:00.000-07:00

Thank God for listeners. It's not every day I utter those words, but some days...you guys make getting up at 3am a lot less painful.

First kudos go to Matt Norcia who emailed this morning suggesting that Haven's or some other fabulous candy maker, start selling Cluster Fudge. Matt's motivation was that he truly wanted to say, "Give me a pound of Cluster Fudge." When pressed about what flavor that would be, he said he wasn't sure, but he was sure it would be nutty. BRILLIANT! I'm calling candy places next week!

Then there is Tali Jones. A long time fan of the show AND Cluster Fudge. How big of a fan is she? She has proudly displayed her Cluster Fudge sticker on her car.

A small tear is in my eye for your devotion to our fake band. Now if we could only get our boss-hole to be as dedicated.

ASSUME THE POSITION

2008-04-13T06:13:00.000-07:00

As I was leaving my house Saturday morning, a Portland Police S.W.A.T. tank pulled right up the house next to mine. The back door was open and out poured about six S.W.A.T. cops in full uniform, guns a blazin'. They were after my neighbor!

I always suspected he was a drug dealer. Hell, he drives a motorcycle and wears leather.

They grab him from a car, pull him to the ground and cuff him. And I had a front row view of it all! It was scary and amazing. This guy must have been one bad dude to have the friggin' S.W.A.T. team show up! Minutes later a cruiser pulls up to haul this guy to jail, for what I can only assume is multiple murders and he will rot in a tiny cell.

But there were some weird things.

1) The bad guy never stopped smiling
2) The cops were laughing and joking with him
3) The cops used a plastic tie and not real handcuffs...and
4) They put the bad guy (certainly death row worthy) in the front seat.

No biggy. Thank God the cops got him.

The cruiser backs up INTO MY DRIVEWAY RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, and then pulls out toward the station. Then the S.W.A.T. tank does the same thing! It backs into my driveway right in front of me, the back still open loaded with the brave men in full uniform. This is my chance. I jump out of my car and run to the back of the tank.

"Hey, I live here. Should I be concerned?" I ask, expecting to get the worst news ever. I hear, "Is that Lori?" That's sweet...a fan. Then the guy in front says:

"No. It's just training."

"Oh. Thanks." I said.

I guess I never did quite learn that don't judge a book by it's cover lesson, or a S.W.A.T. operation by the bad guy they carry away.

03/30/08 WARNING TIME WASTER STRAIGHT AHEAD!!

2008-03-30T06:15:00.000-07:00

This was forwarded to me. It's a huge time waster and sooo much friggin' fun! I am obsessed with getting to at least 30 seconds. Fighter pilots apparently go as long as two minutes. Good thing I'm no fighter pilot.

You have been warned! This is addictive:

CLICK HERE TO WASTE TIME AT WORK!

3/17/08 DO YOU HEAR THE MUFFIN LADY?

2008-03-29T14:33:00.000-07:00

Oops. Ya know, I guess I think why would anyone want to actually read my random thoughts? But if ya do check, the least I can do it do it more often, eh?

Okay, even though it IS St. Patrick's Day, this has nothing to do with the holiday. It's one of those days that I will wear green, fake a terrible Irish accent and call it good. Today I wanted to share something from my favorite topic...FOOD! As I age (like cheese) I fight trying to eat better. I fight it because it takes more time, costs more and mostly I just want to chow on crap. But, I did run across a recipe for banana muffins that is amazing. And not a lick of sugar in it! Enjoy:

2 tbls unsalted butter (I never buy unsalted butter...should I?)
2 heaping tbls clear honey (I have no idea what clear honey is..I used what's in the cabinet)
1/2 tsp vanilla extract2 large ripe bananas (I usually use 3)
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 heaping tsp banking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp cinnamon
pinch of salt

Preheat oven to 375. Put butter, oney and vanilla in a pan on low heat to melt - remove from heat and set aside. Mash the bananas, and in another bowl measure out the flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon and salt. Mix the melted butter mixture with the bananas, and then mix that into the dry ingredients. Don't overmix. Put paper cups in the muffin trays and fill them about 2/3rds full. Bank about 25 minutes. Leave in pan for 5 minutes, then remove to a wire rack to cool. It suppose to make 10 muffins, and I usually end up with about 10. But they are so good, double that recipe and eat them allll week! Okay, I don't think the "comment" part of this blog works, but I would love to hear if you liked it. Email me here.

2/23/08 YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME...

2008-03-29T14:31:00.000-07:00

I told you about a food delivery company I'm obsessed with called 2 Dine In. They deliver food to your door from about a dozen of my favorite places in Portland. Friday night was no different when I ordered some vegetarian fare from The Green Elephant on Congress Street. Yum...tofu. Listen, I was in the mood for something light. Although, I think all their meals could use some chicken to make them really good.

Anyway, Josh from2 Dine In, got some calls from my blog (you people read this?) and he was very happy for the extra business. I was glad to help. I had never met Josh, but he seemed like a very nice guy. Well, guess who was delivering food during the snow on Friday night. JOSH! I looked like a mess. I had sweats on, a Patriots hat and looked like a semi ran over me. So, here's this adorable guy at my door and he says, "Are you Lori?" Dear God I wanted to say no...but I squeaked out a, "Yeah." He says, "Oh...I didn't recognize you with a hat on." What he meant to say was, "HOLY CRAP! What happened?!" I didn't even attempt to explain that if I had showered, and put some effort into it, I would be a lot less scary...sigh.

Josh should thank his lucky stars...I could have been dying my mustache too!

2/11/08 MY FIRST CAUCUS

2008-03-29T14:26:00.000-07:00

And it was a mess. I don't consider myself a total dummy, but my God, caucusing? Don't get it one bit. And waiting in line for almost four hours did not help get me in the mood. First over an hour and a half outside in the blowing snow. THAT should have deterred me...but it didn't. Nor did it the other 4,000 people who showed up at Portland High School. That was incredible. But not as incredible as how well behaved the Dems, un-registered and Independents of Portland are. I was really impressed. Here's a shot of what I looked at once the doors opened to Portland High (remember...hour and a half to get to this point)

Uh...okay. Then the lines weaved in and out and in and out like Disney World through the cafeteria...

Now I know why all the kids come to One City Center for lunch...
Also, I finally got my "Monica Lewinsky's Ex-Boyfriend's Wife for President 2008" bumper sticker! Want one? Head to Zazzle! It's awesome.

1/29/08 IT'S GOOD TO BE HOME

2008-03-29T14:22:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure why it takes so damn long to get from Maine to Idaho...but it does. You might think there'd be a potato express or something. There's not. Well, there isn't an affordable one.
So, follow the bouncing ball:

Manchester, NH to Cincinnati, OH to Salt Lake City, UT to Boise, ID. First flight at 10:10am get into Boise at 8pm. And you gain two hours too!

Now, let's go home:

Boise, ID to Salt Lake City, UT to Detroit, MI to Manchester, NH. First flight at 745am get into Manchester at 8pm. See? It takes friggin' all day long.

People travel differently. There are the happy talkers, the quiet ones, the leave me alones and the helpless. I tend to be a quiet traveler and do lots of work. It's a great way of using those 12 friggin hours. Now, I just need to get some things off my chest.

A) For God's sake, sneeze in your arm and cover your cough. If I don't get malaria, it will be a miracle.
B) When the flight crew says put away your phone, PUT AWAY YOUR PHONE!
C) When the flight crew says we can't take off until everyone is seated, SIT THE HELL DOWN!
D) When the flight crew comes by and hits every elbow on the way with the drink cart, don't say you didn't hear what was offered...please run down the list again for me.
E) Your huge bag will NOT fit in the overhead compartment, and now YOU are holding up the whole plane while you try to squeeze a marshmellow into a parking meter slot.
F) If I eat another tiny bag of cliche peanuts, I'll puke.

You know what? I feel much better!

1/18/08 HELLLLOOOOOO IDAHO!

2008-03-29T14:20:00.000-07:00

Land of the aiport-gay-sex-soliciting-senators! Yippee! Yes, it does make me proud that I was raised here. Notice I didn't say born here. Oh no, thank God I was born in Chicago. That just sounds soooo much cooler. Plus, it would explain my unexplainable love of the Chicago Bears.
I will be heading out for my anual winter retreat to see Mom and Dad. God love 'em. A pack a day of delight they are. The older I get the more I'm okay with them. Oh sure, we have our issues. Hell, those issues are keeping half the family from talking to each other. What the hell is wrong with families that really hang onto grudges? My sister and older brother no longer even speak to my parents. More for me in the will!!

I will be bringing the sausage! I ordered some from Mr. and Mrs. Sausage up in Brunswick. And I also stopped by Micucci's in Portland. If you ever want to feel Italian, go to this amazing store on India Street near the corner of Fore and India (the 4 way stop that NO ONE EVER OBEYS!)
I am bringing my laptop in hopes of catching some wireless connection out in the middle of nowhere. I want to show my parents what they are missing with the internet. I can already hear my dad, "I'm not learning about no stupid internet." So THAT'S where I get it.

But tonight...it's food delivered again. I'm addicted to being lazy. 2 Dine In is my new obsession. I'm thinking of trying hacky sack next week.

1/11/08 GRADE SCHOOL...OH BOY

2008-03-29T14:16:00.000-07:00

It's been so wild. Out of the blue this past Christmas, I got a card from an old friend I went to school with in Idaho. I went to three different high schools, so this would be the first highschool I went too. These are kids I also went to gradeschool with and I actually have more memories of them from grade school. Anyway, when Ruth contacted me...well, I thought of kids I hadn't thought of in a good 25-30 years! (you do the math!). One of those kids is Oney Eguia. Only THE cutest boy in class (I thought) and one I had a crush on for most of gradeschool and highschool. He works at UPS now in Boise. It's no fair, cuz he can go to http://www.wjbq.com/ to check up on me...but I wanted to see him! So he sent me a picture.
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Oney is the one getting married on the left. This is the kid I used to play bloody knuckles with.

So weird that I would have contact with people I haven't seen in decades! I haven't seen them in so long, they forgot that I did NOT graduate with them. That's kinda funny. Oney Eguia. My gradeschool crush. Wow.

SATURDAY 01/05/08

2008-03-29T14:14:00.000-07:00

Okay, blogs are all about a peek into someone's life. Ready? Im watching sucky football (Washington/Seattle) waiting for food to be delivered, hoping I don't have MRSA.

Let's review:

Football: It's the playoffs and since the Pats have a bye...well...at least it's football. By the way, recording a Food Network special on Santorini. I still can't believe I was there last summer.

Food: Accidently found a place that DELIVERS food. And not pizza. It's a website www.2dinein.com. I'm trying the place Burrito! One of the bonuses of living in Portland.

Foot: My damn heel is driving me crazy. I tore off the back of my heel snow shoeing Tuesday. I swear I've been hanging out with Meredith too damn much. All I can think is that it's gonna get infected and I will have to have it amputated. DAMN MEREDITH! I have put about a pound of Neosporin on that sucker.
Ya sure you still want me to blog?

CHRISTMAS EVE

2008-03-29T14:13:00.001-07:00

It's Christmas Eve! Yippee! I may be more excited than usual, because I have the rest of the week off and won't be back in until 1/2/08. The things that impressed me so far on this day? A) Dunkin Donuts has pizza and B) I won 5 dollars from Teddy's scratch ticket he gave me for Christmas! I am grateful for the nice weather, but I wouldn't mind another snow storm.
What am I doing on vacation? Thanks for asking. Nothing with a capital "n". It's my favorite time off. Not that Europe didn't rock and everything, but NOTHING beats not having to do stuff. I want to cook and watch movies and maybe snow shoe. Then eat and sleep. I might shower. My God! I'm already booked solid!
Have a great Christmas.

Happy New Year

2008-03-28T13:15:00.000-07:00

JANUARY 01/02/08

Is it just me, or is there always a feeling of "Phew! Got through that year....and now it's time to do it all over again." I love time off. I swear, I gotta start buying more lottery tickets. I would make an excellent lazy person. Although, I did lots of wonderfully anal things:

1) Cooked: made meals and froze them. Anal.

2) Cleaned: got a bag of clothes for Good Will. Anal.

3) Thanks: got all my thank you notes done. Anal.

4) Re-loaded: filled my lotion bottle, my soap and my shampoo bottles. This is the most anal of all. I have these bottles that either fit my shower, or my storage and of course they no longer make that sized bottle or whatever..so I have to keep it and fill it. I'm now all set for at least the first few weeks of 2008. Ahhhhh, it's good to be me.

I love being anal retentive. It's thanks to us in the world that you can find anything at all in this world. Time off gives me time to be super-duper anal.